Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Bush's Newest Slant on Terror

"Gay-themed movies, Democrats' Lawyers, and Travel"
updated Dec. 14, 2005 07:50am E.S.T.

WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush revealed his new blueprint for what "All Mericans needs to noe ...'what makes terror terror'".

Ang Lee's critical darling "Brokeback Mountain" has been listed as the number one terror threat facing America. "Ang Lee isn't even American and he made the movie in Canada. This is clearly an act of terrorism not only from The Orient, but also from The Canadant. Using furriners and furriner lands to depick the great Merican cowboy as a butt lovin' homo deeply threatens to rip apart the moral fabric of our great land." President Bush went on to suggest that "the same Christians who boycotted Disney and made that company close should do the same to furreen made butt buddy movies about cowboys."

When Dokly Rewpout of the Canadian Bacon told Bush the Walt Disney Company is still in business and doing better than ever, Bush replied, "Well, Walt is dead, so there."

Following Ken Lay's declaration that "Democrats and their lawyers attempts to expose how I laundered money from Enron and completing depleting the 401k which in turn wiped out the retirement dreams of all my employees is an under-handed act of terror. It's old news people. And yet, these terrorist lawyers won't grow up and let it go." Bush's number two threat of terror against the USA has been listed as, "Demo Homo Lawyerz".

President Bush then added, "I've been traveling around the world, and there ain't nothing like Merica. Don't travel anywhere but here. Go to Florida, see Mickey Mouse-" A reporter quickly spoke up, "I thought you said Disney was evil and a threat to the moral fabric of America?" The unidentified reporter was escorted away by the Secret Service and was reported to have commited suicide shortly after. Bush clarified, "The Mickey Mouse in Florida is good. The one in California is bad."

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