Saturday, December 03, 2005

Rove Explains It All For You

"Krazy Karl" Debuts on Broadway
"Electric. Intelligent. This was the first time I saw a play, and it won't be the last"
Posted by Roosters News Agency Updated Dec. 3, 2005 09:43am E.S.T.

New York, NY (A Helluva town) - Standing Room Only at the brand new G.W. Bush Theatre at 48th and Eighth Avenue was sold out last night as over seventy-five people packed the fifty seat theatre to bear witness to the premiere of Karl Rove's one man show, "Krazy Karl".

Krazy Karl used this venue to explain to people the truth behind everything in his work, his home life, his church life, and his bout with fountain sodas. "I've never been a glutton for anything. I blame convenient stores and buffet style restaurants for my addiction to carbonated beverages. And there are no twelve step programs for this disease. Did you know that soda pop is bad on the kidneys and livers?" Gasps from the audience and a few teary eyed sobs followed his Coca-Cola confession.

Particularly poignant was his monologue addressing his function in The Bush White House. "I am in control of this press. And things were going along well enough until Hurricane Katrina blew over. I once could make up any story I wanted, but since the destruction and death occurred on American soil, too many blabber mouths from The Gulf Coast took up a negative campaign against me. They said I was a liar. None of those stupid illiterates down there understand politics and the freedom of artisitic press." After pausing to blow his nose in a tissue, Krazy added, "And now nobody will let me buy press space in Iraqi newspapers. How am I supposed to spin the news without the news? Brother, can you spare a crime?" At that moment, there was a three minute standing ovation.

President Bush attended the performance and gave a brief speech after: "This was my first time seeing a play. I want to see more now. But not "Rent" or anything with fags and AIDS. I want to see The Rocksexes at Radio Sin Music Ballroom. I think an evening of long legs kicking up and down flashing little red underwears would be what plays is about."

"Krazy Karl" is scheduled for a five day limited run. Tickets are available.

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